Spiritual Diary - August

August 1

Action

Appropriate action - not right action, not wrong action, but appropriate action - is also what is called balance.
Balance is to match my effort with the challenge in front of me.
If I meet a thousand challenges every day, I must exert myself in the corrective proportion, just to the extent of balancing the challenge - neither too much nor too little.
But how much is too much?
How little is too little?
How do I know?
In order to answer the question, "How do I know?", and in order to solve all these problems, I have to be awake all the time.
I don't have to adopt a certain pattern of life, but I must be alert and vigilant all the time.
If I am alert, I might discover - I might discover, it is not an automatic process - that most of my foolish actions spring from either my brain, which is all the time calculating, or from my emotions.
There is a reason behind all my actions, and all my reasons are calculated towards some gain or the fulfillment of some expectation.
If I love someone, whatever he does is all right.
But if I hate someone, I don't mind if he is killed.
These two constantly lead me into some kind of mess or other.
I 'm watching - these are not appropriate actions.

August 2

Natural

When I don't imagine anything, I see the world as it is, the circumstances as they are, and not as I hoped they might have been, nor as I fear they are, but just as they are.
I see the circumstances just as they are, without the calculating intellect, and without the emotional heart clouding the whole thing.
When I see the fact of my life and the fact of the world around me, then there is appropriate action, something that is so natural to life.
In nature there is no worry.
Some trees have no leaves and there is no worry.
But if no hairs grow here on my head, there is a lot of worry.
You look at a completely bald tree; it doesn't go to a hair-stylist and get some leaves stuck on.
It you are able to watch from within, you will realize what appropriate action really means.
It is so simple and natural to life.
It is beautiful. And the only thing it demands, we are unwilling to do.
This is constant vigilance.
To find the appropriate action from moment to moment, from hour to hour, in our life, demands constant vigilance, constant awakened intelligence.
This enlightened intelligence is buddhi.
And one whose intelligence is thus constantly awake, such a person alone is alive in this world.
All others are asleep.

August 3

Yoga

Yoga has come a full circle.
The practice of yoga was obviously popular all over the world in ancient times.
Hence, suryanamaskara, pranayama, japa, worship and meditation were woven into one's daily life.
The malpractices of some, in the name of yoga, led to two results: it became unpopular and also secretive.
Then began a great revival.
Gurudev Swami Sivananda contributed in a great measure to the breaking down of the secrecy barrier.
But some sort of resistance continued to exist, linking yoga with magic, oriental religious thinking and health-cults.
Even these are gradually being overcome.
Once again, yoga is fast becoming popular and acceptable.
It is recognized today that yoga promotes peace and harmony.
However, it is a disturbing fact that even some of the "leaders of the yoga movement" have been unable to avoid disharmony within their own ranks, as also in their relationship with others.
Surely, if one has found harmony within oneself, it is reflected in one's relationships.
When this does not prevail, it is good to stop, pause and re-examine the situation.

August 4

Quarrel

A common error we commit in yoga is commencing with the conclusions of others.
We are told that yoga leads to such and such an experience.
We practice yoga.
When the expected results do not follow, we either become frustrated or imagine we have them.
A wise yoga student avoids all this.
It is not difficult to realize that life in the world is full of disharmony, destruction and sorrow.
These are all found in "me".
We cover these often with very convenient rationalization.
Hence, we ignore these and pretend they do not exist.
So, even this disharmony has to be discovered and seen for what it is.
Then it hurts.
It will hurt if (and only if) we are sensitive, sincere and serious about our own discovery.
If we are, then we stop blaming others for what exists in us.
It does not take two to make a quarrel, but only one, and that one is "me".
If "I" will not quarrel, no one can make me quarrel, no one can quarrel with me.
At once there is peace, harmony, health and happiness in me, and in my relationship with others.

August 5

Health

Once I taste this inner peace and harmony, health and happiness, I see that they are all one, and that it is its own protector.
I cherish it, I love it, and I am in it.
Nothing is of greater value.
It is of inestimable value; I do not throw it away, whatever be the temptation.
By the practice of the yoga asanas, I discover "health".
In that process, all the toxic poisons that cover the cells and the tissues in the body are discarded.
By the practice of meditation, I discover "peace".
In that process all the prejudices and superstitions, attachments and aversions, which made the mind restless, are discarded.
The study of scriptures and teachings of the masters remind us that God is Omnipresent.
By the practice of bhakti or devotion, I discover "love", which is God in me, which then flows to all beings in whom God dwells.
God alone is the reality in me and in them all.
The realization of this is yoga - the realization of cosmic oneness that already exists and which alone is true.

August 6

Hope

"Does hope bring about a positive attitude or approach to meditation in the practitioner?" asked a young man who is involved in the practice of meditation.
Naturally, if there was no hope of gaining peace of mind, happiness, freedom from pain and suffering or some sort of inner experience, we might not undertake to practice yoga at all!
But, as long as that hope is there, there is no hope of attaining any of these.
Hope promotes duality.
It chases its own goal, which runs away, leading to frustration.
Unable to face this frustration, hope may even experience what it hoped for.
Because such experience is shadow without substance; it vanishes, soon leaving a deeper sense of frustration.
Hope may lead to frustration or, what is worse, imaginary attainment of the hoped for goal.
A concept may itself shine as the reality it symbolizes.
When these errors arise, there is restlessness within oneself once again.
The self is never deceived.

August 7

Death

Death is not a respecter of persons, but it is in love with all.
Or else, a young man who was a yoga teacher, a bachelor who did not smoke, drink or eat meat, who led a well-regulated life, and ate only the best of health food, and who was ever cheerful and helpful, and never lost his temper, need not die of brain tumor.
Yet, the rest of the world hugs the illusion that it was only his fate to die, it does not affect others, and it is "pessimistic" even to think of death.
It is this perfectly obvious ignorance that keeps man chained to sin and suffering.
Countless evils spring from a willful and futile denial of death.
When one is able to see the inevitability of death from within oneself (in which case it is not just a word, nor a mere concept, but the living truth), then there is a psychological revolution, which alters one's whole life.
All forms of destructive aggression, competition with all its pettiness, jealousy, hate, etc., and the anxiety that cuts ulcers in the intestines drop away, leaving us healthy, intelligent and well-adjusted human beings.

August 8

Pursuit

When the superficial brain thinks that it sees death as inevitable, a person may become irresponsible.
But, if the innermost being sees the inevitability of death as clearly as you see this paper, then the pursuit of pleasure or power here on this earth becomes meaningless, too.
You are not interested in heaven nor in a happy life in the next incarnation, but neither are you interested in the pursuit of pleasure here and now, as you see that death puts an end to all that.
If you are not interested in doing what someone else considers good, you are also not interested in what that someone else considers as evil either.
You are not interested in self-denial nor in self-indulgence.
Self-indulgence is as meaningless as self-denial or service of others, though some people have asserted that the former is evil and the latter is good.
When you realize that death puts an end to all this, you live without being torn between these concepts of good and evil, right and wrong.
Such a life is virtue.
In it there is no violence, competition and all that has characterized the destructive life-style, miscalled civilization.

August 9

Hindu

It is not easy to define what "Hinduism" or who a "Hindu" is.
Yet many Hindus and non-Hindus have attempted to do so.
We therefore have numerous definitions, which are sometimes unrelated.
This is not only because the religion itself is ancient, but because of the nature of the fundamental tenet of the religion.
It seeks to help each individual find his or her freedom (moksa).
Hinduism is believed to hold the veda as its authority.
It is the common belief that Veda signifies the text that exists with that title; but Veda means "knowledge".
In the latter sense, the authority for Hinduism is knowledge or experience.
The ultimate experience may be the same for all, but even the penultimate experience of one may be very different from that of another person.
As "experience" they are all valid, whether we call them true, false or centre!
Hence the famous cliche that Hinduism promotes tolerance.

August 10

Hinduism

The spirit of Hinduism is not just tolerance.
It is the understanding that everyone is free to free himself from ignorance with the help of knowledge (experience), and that if my experience is real to me, yours is equally real to you.
All experiences are made possible by the self, or God, who is omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient.
These apparent differences are reflected in the conduct and the life style of the people.
However, the spirit of Hinduism unmistakably shines through all these.
This spirit can be summed up in one word, "ahimsa", which is "nonviolence in thought, word and deed".
One who is established in ahimsa finds the truth, which is the self or God.
To be a Hindu, therefore, is to embody this spirit to the utmost of one's own ability in all sincerity.
Naturally, this implies that every Hindu should strive every moment of his life to reach perfection.
You are the light of Hinduism.
Hinduism is what you are.

August 11

Japa

Our master Swami Sivananda prescribed an immediate solution to the problems that were brought to Him.
Whatever was the problem and whoever faced it, He invariably prescribed the Japa of a Mantra.
When this was done, the appropriate remedies for the particular problem "appeared".
The devotee knew that it was Gurudev's miracle.
The Master Himself gently remarked, "It is due to God's Grace."
What is it in the Mantra that makes this possible?
What is a Mantra?
Specifically, a Mantra is a "mystic formula".
It can be the Name of God, a piece of wholesome life-transforming advice, or a word of power, with which the master's spiritual energy is transmitted to the disciple and the latter's energy is activated.
The latter is known as Shaktipata.
Shaktipata is greatly emphasized in the teachings of Baba Muktananda Paramahamsa.
Bhagavan Ramana Maharishi in His "Talks" has alluded to it.
The Maharishi has said that when the disciple listens to the Master with the heart (while the intellect is utterly silent) Shaktipata takes place.
This is the "initiation".

August 12

Mantra

Once the disciple has been initiated into the Mantra, he does Japa.
Japa is repetition of the Mantra.
The disciple should realize the meaning of the Mantra.
The meaning of the Mantra is the reality it stands for.
Hence, the realization of the meaning of the Mantra is the same as the realization of truth, self, God or cosmic consciousness, or whatever that may be called, as long as you realize that the word is not the truth.
Ramana Maharishi asks the disciple to focus his attention upon the sound of the Mantra, and first see where it comes from, and secondly who utters it and who hears it.
The answer is "oneself " - not as a word, but as the reality!
If that is so, why should one do Japa, which implies the repetition of the Mantra?
The obvious answer is: if one is able to realize the self immediately one utters the Mantra once, it is not necessary to repeat it at all.
However, if one is unable to find the source of the Mantra, the self, one repeats the Mantra.

August 13

Mantra

The very act of the repetition of the Mantra (if this act is earnest, sincere and serious) is capable of purifying the mind - which, simply, means, "clearing the mind of all other thoughts, concepts and percepts".
If such purification does not happen, obviously sincerity is absent.
A pure heart instantly realizes the Mantra as the self or consciousness, which is the indwelling Omnipresence, the transcendent reality.
In ignorance, there was a mistaken notion, "I say the mantra" entertained by the ego sense.
When this truth is directly realized, the disciple sees that similarly other egoistic notions, "I do this", "I experience this" are false.
They are notions whose reality is consciousness unmodified by these notions.
Similarly, life is unmodified by the actions and the experiences.
The light of this realization dispels the dark shadows or problems that appeared to exist in a state of ignorance.

August 14

Karma

I am convinced that Karma is "action" and not "fate", that we do not suffer because of some unknown sin we committed in the distant past, but because of the state of our being just now, and the most dreadful sequel of the past is the repetitive tendency which past action leaves in our mind.
This is the reason why our life runs round in circles.
We blame our present conditions on a remote past, ignoring the immediate cause (which may be the same as the remote cause).
The problem is inside me; the problem is me, not what I did years ago.
It is more profitable therefore that we should look within immediately, now, and discover the present cause of the present conflict or unhappiness, without relating it to past Karma or commitment.
Relating it to past karma may dilute the observation and make it ineffective and incapable of bringing about an immediate change.
Immediate change can only be the result of a direct observation.
Direct observation can only be of what is there now, though undefinable.
It is what is there now that is throwing up all this sorrow and conflict.
If we become intensely aware of what is now, the change can also be immediate and radical.
This is what the yogis implied when they said that self-realization immediately puts an end to all Karma.

August 15

Sincerity

Early in 1961, I had the Darshan for the last time of Swami Puroshottamananda, a holy sage.
This wonderful man had lived for a long time in a cave on the Himalayan hillside.
He led a type of ascetic and simple life, which I don't think many of you can even visualize, because the mind can only comprehend that which it can compare with something that is already known.
For years his only friends were the tigers and cheetahs of the Himalayan forests.
We used to visit him quite frequently and have his Darshan.
He was a very stern and severe type of man, though also extremely loving.
He used to come to the ashram quite frequently, and Gurudev asked him to address the Parliament of Religions in 1953.
He was perched on top of a big table - a tiny little person seated in the diamond posture - and everybody was watching him, waiting for him to deliver a lecture.
He said one word, "Sincerity".
The lecture consisted of one word repeated thrice, "Sincerity, sincerity, sincerity," then he got up and left the stage.
I thought that was the best lecture in the world.

August 16

Holy Men

Why do we go to these holy men and what do we get from them?
We can talk to them and say, "Swamiji, I smoke."
"You smoke - what do you want me to do, manufacture some cigarettes for you?"
"You know, Swamiji, I would very much like to give it up."
"Ah yes, then what stops you?"
"But I like smoking, Swamiji."
When you go to a holy man, look at yourself, why do you go?
You have some problem, you say you want to give it up, then why don't you?
After you light the cigarette, put it down, then sit watching it.
The cigarette smokes, you don't smoke.
Does the cigarette jump into your mouth and say, "Please smoke me?"
It does not.
So, why must you give up your smoking?
Why must you take up smoking to start with?
You have never asked that question.
I don't need anyone to come and tell me how I should stop fighting with you - I don't want to fight with you, and if I don't want to, can anyone make me?
So if you say, "I want to give up smoking, but I like it," then smoke, please go ahead.
It is a terrible sin to give up something that you love, whether it is your wife or cigarettes.
Smoke until it burns your lips and burns your lungs, because until you decide not to take up the next cigarette, nobody on earth can help you.

August 17

Offer Myself

When I go to a holy man must I ask Him what he is going to give me?
Why shouldn't I ask what I am going to give Him?
It is easy to offer a flower, it is easy to offer a fruit, and it is probably easy to offer some money, but what is most difficult to offer is yourself.
Instead of asking what he is going to give me, why should I not approach the holy man with this feeling "I am going to offer myself to Him."
If I do this for one single moment, all my problems are solved, all my problems are over.
If I feel that my clothes are getting dirty and I have no one to wash them, what must I do?
Throw away the clothes and walk around naked - the root of the problem is destroyed.
So I see that all my troubles are created by me.
"I want this - I want that."
I have all these problems, but all these problems are basically selfishness.
Is there any problem in our life that cannot ultimately be traced to this single thing - selfishness?
If I give that away, I am free.
When a sincere man goes to a Guru, he never asks, "What are You going to give me?"
All that he wants is to give himself away to the Guru, so that negatively the problem is solved.
Negatively in the sense that I have rid myself of this big problem, selfishness.
It is over, that is all, the end of it.

August 18

Pleasure

There is a lovely picture by a famous painter, depicting a sage who had fallen in love with a nymph and produced a baby.
Suddenly he realizes that he has fallen from his asceticism, and in great anger he turns from the nymph and baby, and not even wanting to look at them, he covers his eyes.
But from between his fingers one eye is still peeping through.
Just a corner of him still wants to look.
So, I want to turn away from selfishness, I want to go away from this world and be free, but through one corner of my eye I am still looking - "I have renounced selfishness, what am I going to get in return for having given up selfishness?"
This is the most difficult thing to do in life, because we have got into the habit of thinking in terms of logic - when I give up something I get something else.
We have been told that, if we suffer in this world, we will go to heaven and enjoy there.
We have been conditioned to think that in order to enjoy afterwards we must suffer now.
The suffering is therefore directly related to some pleasure later on.
We cannot abandon the idea of pleasure altogether.
Let it go, I don't want it either here or hereafter, neither physical nor spiritual.
I don't want this at all; it is a nuisance.

August 19

Darshan

Do we go to the Master merely to hear what we want to hear, merely to get something out of him?
If I go to the teacher, I must go symbolically holding a flower in my hand.
"It is the flower of my heart that I offer at Your Feet."
And having offered myself at His Feet, I stand there not expecting a thing, knowing that expectation itself is the parent of all unhappiness, of all misery.
Therefore those disciples and devotees who are sincere go to the holy man for Darshan.
This Darshan is a strange thing, a peculiar thing.
It means to see.
Can you open your eyes and see?
Do I go to this holy man with my own image, with a ready-made garment and ask him to fit into it?
Then I am not having darshan.
In order to have the holy man's Darshan, I must go there completely free, and only then I may be able to look at him.
Darshan means looking, but it is not looking like going to a museum and looking at the paintings and statues.
That is easy, but to look at a man, something living, with all my being, I have to be so completely pure that what is, is seen, what is, is known.
That is called Darshan.

August 20

Unfoldment

On the first day of life, all babies look alike, but as they grow, each child begins to look like his parents.
At the moment of conception, in that fertilized egg, there is already hidden the entire image of the future man or woman.
If you watch the way the body develops, you immediately understand the vital message of development.
The pattern of development is not something imported from outside, it is already there.
It you have ever cut a baby-coconut in half, you will see it is just a mass of flesh.
If you were able to stand and watch it form, you would not observe anyone opening and filling it with water.
Yet somehow, right in the middle of it, lovely coconut milk is produced.
The shell forms.
The outside is not tampered with at all.
No one has made a hole in it and poured liquid into it.
In the same way, you and I too have our development, like all growth, from within, out.
It is a constant unfolding.
That is why in Indian mythology you have a lotus associated with all gods and goddesses.
Divinity is not something which I can get from outside.
It has merely to unfold.

August 21

Development

Some flowers unfold quite fast.
You see them as a bud in the evening, and the next morning they are open.
You would almost think that if you had watched them for half an hour, you would have observed them opening up; but this is not so.
This development happens so smoothly that the stages are unobservable.
The unfoldment does not happen spasmodically - it is gradual, yet continuous.
That is true development.
The total flower - not just one part of it - opens up slowly, imperceptibly, without the blowing of trumpets, "Look, I am going to open, to develop!"
It unfolds beautifully and subtly, because the fullness or the developed state of perfection was already inherent in the flower.
It did not have to call for perfection.
Even in the bud stage, perfection was there already.
Therefore the unfoldment has to happen.
Only when we realize these basic principles in our own unfoldment, can we avoid frustration.
There can be no hurry in development, no haste in unfoldment.
It has to happen.

August 22

God's Grace

We tend to create alternatives; either I will exert myself in order to develop myself or I will just go to sleep.
If fate, karma, God's will, God's Grace, or whatever you call it, is going to do it, let it do it!
We are caught in "either - or."
Either I must do it or God must do it.
This is an artificial choice.
Either "I" must do it or "they" must do it.
Why not both?
Why not do my part of it.
Forget all these silly arguments.
Why not, right from now, observe within myself this bud bursting with eagerness to blossom?
I must look within and see that there is the bud, the spiritual bud, the bud of my life, of my intelligence, of my consciousness, filled with eagerness to burst, to unfold.
Then there is no anxiety, there is no rush.
That is what we call the "development" of spiritual consciousness.
It is there already.
It does not need to be imported from outside.
I must merely recognize it.
What stops me from recognizing it, strangely enough, is the very desire for development!

August 23

Unique

Inside each one of us there is a bud, which is unique.
No two total personalities are identical.
How must I develop? Do not ask me. Do not ask anyone else.
Only you will know because you are unique.
When God made you, He put something into this personality of yours that he did not put anywhere else in the world.
Therefore, in your development, no one can help you - and no one can obstruct you.
It is already there in everyone.
One must become aware of it, must see it, and let it be.
It is the same with a sculptor when he looks at a slab of marble.
He already visualizes the figure in the marble.
If he does not thus visualize, he will never succeed.
From then on he does not put anything into the marble or make the figure.
It is already there!
But there is a lot more there in addition.
The artist merely subtracts.
What remains is what he wanted.
So, first I have to see within myself this unique personality, this unique truth, this unique spirit.
I have to become aware of this.
Once I become aware, I also see quite a lot of rubbish sticking to this central spiritual being; and as I keep pushing these other things away, the latent perfection is revealed.
There is total development!

August 24

Promotion

We must avoid any sectional development e.g. development of the body alone, or emphasis on increase of money etc.
Luckily for us any non-spiritual substance of the world that you continue developing eventually becomes self-destructive.
You go on concentrating on it until it fortunately bursts.
Otherwise the nuisance would be eternal.
You see this in countries where there is the concept of competition, the concept that prosperity means one must promote someone else's adversity.
I must bring you to see that the goods that I have to sell are "needed" by you.
If I am a yoga teacher, then it is yoga that is most important, vital to you.
If a doctor wants to achieve some kind of development, he needs sick people.
He must necessarily promote sickness in society to help him develop as a doctor!
It is said in the Ramayana that Rama wanted to bless Hanuman.
He was about to say, "For what you have done to aid me, I am bound to help you birth after birth."
But he stopped himself, "How can I help you, unless you are in difficulty!"
Rama realized this was no real blessing, but more like a curse saying, "I wish you difficulties in birth after birth!"
In all forms of sectional development, you will find this poison hidden.

August 25

Spiritual Development

How do I bring about total development?
Note the question: How do I bring it about?
Hidden in this question is the answer that it is "I" that brings about development.
In order to bring about total development, I must bring about self-development first.
I must have integrated, total inner development, which we call spiritual development.
Once this is there, then whatever it touches will become totally developed.
For example, we can all go into the fields and cultivate the whole of Mauritius.
That is total development.
But, as I am doing this, I am also watching for signs of sectional feeling.
Do I want some kind of development for myself - for my clan, my community, my this, my that?
Then I am already violent.
The desire for sectional development is itself violence!
Unless I prevent it from rearing its head in me now, I cannot prevent it later, and total development will not happen.

August 26

Participate

I must deal with any problem in me here and now.
I must develop myself in order to participate in this total development.
And unless I participate in this total development, I will not be able to develop myself.
I do not know what I am; I do not know whether I am a vicious or a good person.
It is only in my encounter with you, when I come to deal with you, when I bring myself to work with you, and when we are all engaged in this business of development, that I discover myself - "discover" in the sense of "uncovering".
I have a lot of cover and all this appears very holy.
But in working shoulder to shoulder with you, it is then that all this "cover" is discovered; it is then that my nature comes up.
That again may not be my true nature.
I am merely looking at it.
I see that when it comes to this matter of development, of life itself, when I am working with other people, there is this spirit of competition, there is this spirit of desire to shine better than somebody else, there is this desire to dominate others.
Therefore, there is the seed of violence.

August 27

The Cover

Self-development is like the unfolding of the spirit that is already there.
But I am not able to discover that spirit all at once, because the spirit is covered.
When I turn to look within, I am merely seeing that cover.
The "cover" of craving for pleasure, craving for domination, for superiority - all of which is violence.
I need to be able to look at this clearly, look at it closely, turn it around, and see how it works, so as to handle it successfully.
By merely tearing away, blindly rushing at things, one may cause damage.
In order to discover something one has to be calm.
Haste, rush, excitement will not do here at all.
In order to effectively discover myself I need absolute quiet.
It is only then that I am audible and visible to myself.
When not only the vocal organs, but even the mind is completely tranquil, calm, still, then you can listen to yourself.
This does not mean empty!
When you say that the ocean is calm or still, you do not imply it is empty, but that some disturbance that was there on the surface, has ceased.
It is only when there is no disorderly feeling and thinking, no commotion, that I can see clearly.
This clear-seeing is what is really called "clairvoyance".

August 28

Doubt

I need a very calm mind to discover what is within.
That is what we are aiming at when we sit and pretend to meditate.
You look within yourself with the help of a Mantra or something else, and then you come face to face with your own thoughts.
If you take a rather seriously curious or curiously serious interest in this practice, you will find it very interesting.
You think you are a good man.
You want to meditate.
Suddenly you begin to doubt yourself.
"I thought I was good, but where do these thoughts come from? I never thought I was capable of such monstrous thoughts!"
What must I do with them?
They are within me after all.
If a little bit of fluff comes and lands on my head, I brush it off; it does not belong to me.
Anything landing on my head I brush off.
But I do not try to brush off my hair.
It belongs to me.
I go on cleaning it.
But I keep it there, it is part of me.
Similarly, with these thoughts, I learn to look at myself.
I see when I look within: they are there, they are part of me.

August 29

Patience

In order to look within, the mind has to be completely calm.
Otherwise one cannot become aware of his thoughts at all, and there will be no development, like a mad man who runs about doing this, doing that, a hundred things, and ends up in a mental home!
Some of the most brilliant people go there!
This does not mean that we should be idle, lazy.
Whether it is social, political, economic, educational, national, international or universal, I am contributing to this development.
As I am the architect of this development, I must first discover myself.
In this discovery is self-development or spiritual development.
In order to bring about this discovery I must have patience.
There is no rushing at all in this.
You cannot rush a six-year-old boy into being a forty-six year old man.
Yet, on the other hand, you cannot leave him to sleep himself into that stage - "either - or" - either we rush or we go to sleep.
Neither of these is true.

August 30

In Me

By vigilantly and hopefully watching, you bring about this internal maturity, this internal self-development, and this spiritual development.
How to do it? I must become aware of whatever there is in me.
If there is a God in me, let me see.
If there is a devil in me, let me see.
I am not proud of being a God.
Someone said, "Let us have the truth, even if the heavens should fall."
One must have the courage to discover the truth within one's own nature, without merely assuming what it is like.
I cannot start by saying, "I am the spark of God," or "God dwells in me."
Maybe, but look what comes out of me!
God alone does not seem to dwell in me!
Watch, observe, how can something come out of me that is not in me?
If there is a bowl of sugar and you dip your hand in, you cannot take out salt.
You claim that there is God in you, is it "God" that comes out of you?
Look at the rubbish that comes out of your mouth and mind.
Is that God?
No, that means there is something else there that you had conveniently ignored.

August 31

I see

I should not be ashamed of the undivine thoughts in me, nor should I assume "I am all God".
Dispassionately and patiently with a curious seriousness, or a serious curiosity, I must take complete stock.
If I take complete stock, I am looking at the same thing from innumerable angles of view.
When one goes to a temple, one goes round the idol, only it is done blindly.
But again there is a message in it.
It is a symbolic action.
The symbolism is this: I do not want to see God only from one angle, one side.
I want to go round him, and see what he looks like from the front, from behind and from all sides.
Then I will never be shocked.
If I know that the flowering of the trees and the fruits that I get from the trees are from God, then mosquitoes and cyclones and volcanoes are also seen as part of God.
The "good" things as well as the "horrible" things of life are all from God!
Thus I have a comprehensive view of God.
In the same way, when I want to discover myself, I must not assume that there is only God or goodness in me, but I must also have the courage to face the non-God in me.
Once I see this divine and I see this diabolical, I know how to develop myself immediately.